have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
