32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
