and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
