I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
