Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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