Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
