if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
