she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
