How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
