She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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