so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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