I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
