Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
