This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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