She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
