Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
where are my eyebrows?
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