No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
someone owes me an orgasm
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
