I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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