i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
