How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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