well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
