Dual....:-)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
