theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can I color on your dick again?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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