To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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