I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
