well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
