Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
