Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just invented taco cereal.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
