so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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