I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
