woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
