he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
