You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Duck Duck Cougar?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
