If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Your cock deserves a montage
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
