On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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