3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
