Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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