Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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