new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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