So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
