I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
