...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
