Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
