Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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