Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
