you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
