Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
