in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
