Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
