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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
